Beginning to feel helpless

I am writing this post out of mere frustration. Writing makes me feel better, a way to get the emotions out.

I found a rental on the web a few days ago that sounded perfect for us. Great location, 3 bedrooms, 2 living areas, large backyard. Yesterday the agent called about 2pm to see if I could be at the house at 2:30pm to look at it. The girls were both asleep and so I had to decline. I really didn't want to wake both of them up and throw them in the car. The agent said we could reschedule for Monday at 4pm, I said that would be great.

Today the agent called at 10:30am to let me know the house had been rented. My stomach now feels sick. Why didn't I just go! Oh well, can't do anything about it now.

So right now I feel like giving up. If I am not willing to bend my schedule hour by hour to the agents' schedules then apparently I will miss out. Is it worth messing up the girls' day just to look at a house that as of right now we don't have the money to pay the bond for?

Yeah, last week two parking fines showed up in our mailbox, $214.00. So we are now $214.00 shy of bond.

I know that God will work something out but right now I am feeling quite desperate and helpless. I guess that is how God wants it though isn't it? He wants us not to rely on ourselves but on him. We are very much at that point right now.

So I guess in a few months I can read back over this post and see how God has worked it out. But right now being on the other side of the difficulty is no fun. Even though I know something will be worked out it is still very hard for me to keep my stomach from tightening up.

Phil. 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.